For the first time in two years

As I was taking the bus to the library today I realized that I wanted to live; for the first time in 2 years I did not want to die; I had no suicidal feelings.  It was absolutely amazing, although I couldn't figure out why I felt this way, where it was coming from; it was just this feeling, this emotion that I wanted to live. Not that I had to live or couldn't die, but that I want to live.  I know it doesn't sound like a big thing, but for me; a person who for the last two years has almost constantly wanted to die; it is a big freakin' deal; it's like a breakthrough and I hope to goodness graciousness it does not leave me.