Blaaahhh

just having a rough day and my stomach is a total mess. Every time I eat I feel nauseous and sick, but I also feel hungry and I gained like 4 lbs since I came to my parents house for Christmas  break = a total mess inside of me cause the last thing I want/need is for me to get fatter than I already am.
Everything has been pissing me off and I honestly do such a swell job at controlling myself and am just a marvelous actress.  It's like I'm leading a double life:
Caring, compassionate, fun, positive, all smiles and patient friend to the world and unexplainable, lost, sad, lonely, pissed, angry, insecure, self wrecking, low self esteem, push over and introvert in reality [that no one knows about].

I suck.  end of story.  bye.

Also this is a most recent picture of me; my hand is oddly placed on my chin because of a horrid pimple that I had to cover somehow.  Also you can't really see but the veins around my eyes (like under neath my eyes) are becoming more visible.  I quite like that look.