Lazy, tired and feeling very alone :[

I'm still in the library and totally do not want to get off my butt and leave.  Maybe it's because I know in the library there are other people while at my place I'm basically all alone :[ ahh well I should go back soon anyways and get some groceries on the way home, which by the way I have finally made a grocery list for (takes me forever to pick foods I want to buy and than I always overthink about the choices and whether or not I'm actually gonna eat them, if they're worth the money etc).

Here it is:

• Kale
• 1 onion 
• Carrots 
• A block of frozen spinach (if they have it at the grocery store I'm going to)
• Orange juice
• More packets of crystal light
• Maybe some tofu...depending on how much everything will cost 

I have rice and some pasta at home to add for soup or to have with the sautéed veggies (I still have some eggplant at home as well).  I think it should last me for 2 weeks....hopefully?  oh the joys of living on your own. well at least me paying for everything by myself means my parents don't really have a say in my life. 

Also watched the first episode of sailor moon and it's so cute and funny and exaggerated ♥.  And I must add that sailor moon and her friend are both ubber slender, yet petite and cute and thin and pretty and just ughh thin! 

Also my dash on tumblr was filled with such petite, thin girls ;[  

and I'm feeling really lonely today (and reality is I am alone, almost always) and filled with this deep sad/anxious feeling that is always there and I can never get rid of it.   Some days the feeling is so bad I don't know what to do with myself, and feel like crawling out of my own skin and crying and I just feel like I am breaking down slowly everyday.