Binge. Purge. Binge. Purge. Take 10 laxatives. Curl up in pain. Binge. Throw up till your throat is raw. Fast. Binge. Purge. Get headache and aches and pain from all the purging. Binge. Hate yourself. Purge. Purge. Purge. Purge till you see blood.  Purge till you see stars. Take more laxatives.  Stuffle the groans of pain in your pillow, as your body twists and turns from pain that feels like knives twisting your intestines this way and that.  Eat a tub of ice cream.  Throw up.  Cry. Binge. Purge. Binge.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I hate myself.  I hate these last few days.   I hate these last 4 years of this.

It's too fucking much.