blood, sooo much pain ~

I don't know why, but since about Saturday (while still at my parents house) I started getting more frequent abdominal pains and just like what the fuck?  I took one ONE fucking laxative today! O  N  E!! and normally I take an excess of 6 (usually 6 - 10) in one day.   But today I took one and yet I still got such terrible, terrible pain in my left abdomen.   I don't know, I just never expect to get such bad/severe pain when I haven't taken practically any laxatives today.   Also I have more recently had blood when going to the bathroom - can't figure out if it's a hemorrhoid or whatever it's called (apparently they can be internal) but I don't feel pain when going so I don't think it's serious.

This was last week at my parent's house: cheerios with almond milk and half an apple cut up ♥

also I have no money for laxatives (my cards are maxed out, and I have rent to pay and just paid for March bus pass), but I have this fiber laxative powder I bought back in November/December  so I'll use that for the time being - it doesn't dissolve very well though :/ 

I have been trying to take better care of myself, as in moisturize daily, and do stretches and some exercise everyday.   I'm still debating if I want to start a shake diet, so scared of getting better and it pisses me off at how much of a baby and not responsible of a person I am.