So I truly thought this was a great time to go back and visit my parents and siblings, because as it so happens I am in the middle of a quarter life crisis and felt I truly needed a bit of a break; turns out my hopes were short lived. I honestly should have expected this, as it always happens when I come home and has always been the case in my home; an alcoholic father (who denies ever drinking, when he drinks 2 bottles of wine a night plus beer or whiskey) and a mother easily agitated because of all the stress around her and I feel like I need to be the support pillar for my mother (and all my friends), when all I need right now is a little support and understanding from someone. I feel like a wreck, and feel more suicidal today than I have in the last 2 weeks, and it is only my first day out of seven back home. Jesus fucking christ.
I don't want to be here anymore, anywhere at all; I want to disappear because then maybe everything else will disappear as well; all my problems and all my flaws.
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