can everyone stop pointing out how tired I look all the time?

Yes I know I look tired; I AM tired.  I've been working 22 - 33 hours each week for the last 4 weeks; I've had 4 term papers to write; I have exams to study for; I have exams to write.  Obviously I look tired.  I know that.  You also do not need to point out my bags are pretty bad and that I look extremely tired, not just tired, and that around my eyes are red.  I get it;  I look like shit; I look like a fuckin' zombie, please stop.  You telling me how tired I look will not magically make me look not tired all of a sudden; it will not magically create more time in the day time so I can get more hours of sleep; it will not make my exams disappear.

I needed to vent - so many things are stressing me out and giving me anxiety and just generally making things bad so like always I vent about the smallest thing, but it helps calm me down a bit.  I did stand with my feet halfway across the line at the metro; about a step away from the edge and there were a lot of people; an accidental bump or push. I couldn't do it, but there was this small rush flowing through me, like what if I did take that extra step? But the subway came from the other end and so by the time it reached my end it was practically stopped and I was disappointed.  What a pity I didn't die.

This is all driving me over the edge and I just want to cut up my thighs again.  Open me up and let me break; die, cry, pathetic like I am.

I hate myself. I know I have written this many times before, but I just hate myself so much.