wowww.

I honestly felt like my blood sugar dropped today when I was in the library and ate a chocolate bar and a pizza pocket thing (2 of them) which just caused me to go to the bathroom and it took about an hour or so before I started feeling less shaky; maybe it's dehydration?  Also I think I have gotten an actual, not going away, hemorrhoid or something;  it is like a swollen vein and it is PAINFUL.  I'll see if it doesn't go away by Monday I'll buy that H Cream they sell in pharmacies ~
I keep telling myself I'll stop with the laxatives, but it never works.  I hate this, I hate it so much.   I spend so much money on laxatives; money I don't.  I'm also getting varicose veins on the back of my knee on my right leg (at least it looks like varicose veins) and it looks absolutely horrid. I just look horrid in general. 

Although I must say I look decent when I take pictures with my ipod in the mornings cause the light makes my skin look soo good ~   if only this was the reality ;[

Me yesterday morning; if only my skin looked this good in reality. 

I also discovered a most wondrous book, unlike any other, just a few moments ago and I will post with pictures later about it as I am squealing with excitement from stumbling upon such a find (although I really must get back to writing my take home exam). 

I think I may put on make up on saturday or sunday, because I haven't worn makeup in about 5 months (and my eyelashes have gotten so thick!); but now that I'm used to make up I really don't wanna put any on, although I should since I look like crap 24/7.

Lastly I want to dye my hair black, but I realize I am way too pale at the moment; or more accurately everyone has been pointing out that I am too pale.  I kinda want to dye it like a bleach blonde mint colour but my hair is way too damaged to go lighter and I cannot find any semi-permanent hair colours that I would want other than black; I feel like if I did dye it black everyone would probably be right....

Sometimes I like my nose (but most of the time I don't). 

 

One last selfie I'm posting, because it would be a waste to not post all the pictures I take while I'm in the library studying...

 

One last thing: I'm thinking of starting a vlog ! I'm just not sure how to post videos on youtube, but once I have them done and up I will link them on here :]