Library = essay needs to get done. and I'm anti social :{

So for the first time in like 3 months I don’t work on a Sunday and it’s a girl from my group of friends birthday (I guess my friend as well?) and they’re all going out, but I’ve decided to stay in and go to the library and work on a paper because

a) I honestly don’t feel like being social (I have hung out with them on Halloween for the first time in like over a month - I tend to shut people out of my life which is one of my many crummy qualities, but I'm scared of getting close to people).

b) I feel like shit because of the constant use of laxatives and the recent loss of appetite (my body is probably disliking me more than usual, and my chest feels weird like it does when I go through really bad purging cycles).  

c) I tend to get horrid upper back/shoulder pain when I drink and I just cannot stand the idea of having to get that pain (even though it only lasts about 20 - 30 minutes, it is absolutely unbearable like I cannot describe the feeling.) 

d)  I have no money to spend on drinking (although I have a bunch of coolers I could take with me to pre - drink at my friends and then go home before they hit the clubs/an hour or so after going - but I don't want to wait for the night bus and I just don't feel like only going to get tipsy while  everyone is going to get smammered and whatnot).  

...... I feel like such an anti social person -_- which I am in a way, although most people wouldn't know  it.  At the beginning of the school year, at the beginning of second semester and beginning of summer vacation I tend to party every weekend for a couple of weeks and then get down to studying/working.  I think I'll just go pull an all nighter at the library or maybe just until 1 am cause I want to go to a service of some sort tomorrow since I haven't been anywhere spiritual in awhile and need some lifting (although I should research if there is a buddhist/jainism worship place as I want to learn more about it and it feels like it's more on my level of morals and spirituality).

Also my middle back/kidneys kill today.   Feels like they have been beat up and run over by a truck - which is weird, because I usually only ever have this kind of pain after a night of lots of drinking.